


Tangled Shore Blues

by Oblivion_Wanderer



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Fights, Forsaken era, Hurt/Comfort, Sad with a Happy Ending, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 06:03:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21405382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oblivion_Wanderer/pseuds/Oblivion_Wanderer
Summary: The hunts go on. Nelan's cutting a path though the Scorn to find Uldren. Ivo is worried about his Guardian succumbing to her own darkness.Things are going to get worse before they get better.
Relationships: Female Guardian/Ghost (Destiny), Nelan (OC)/Ivo (OC)
Kudos: 4





	Tangled Shore Blues

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally inspired by the lore bit that accompanies the Thin Line hand canon. I let it sit for a while after Forsaken came out, but after a recently conversation with friends, I have gone back and decided to actually write this out. Been a while since I did a sad thing like this...
> 
> Scattered throughout too, are lines from the Thin Line hand canon lore bit.
> 
> Also there's a vague reference to the first Dark Tower book; The Gunslinger (mostly bc I headcanon that Nelan has an old copy of the book she keeps with her, since she is of the Gunslinger subclass)

Knowing she was going to have to spend an extended amount of time in the Tangled Shore region, Nelan surveyed an area in the High Plains where she could set up a base camp of sorts. Eventually, she decided on a plateau that was not too far from the access point to Thieves Landing. It seemed safe enough, but set did set up a few perimeter alarms in case some stray Fallen decided to bother her.

That first night, she lingered outside the _Wardenclyff II _for a bit after setting up camp. The sky swirled in shades of purple and blue. She could see the that watch tower in the distance.

“Nelan?” Ivo ventured, floating up behind her.

“I… I realized I never said it.” The Hunter says in a quiet voice.

“Said what?”

“What I usually say when we find Guardians and Ghosts who have passed on. I never said it for Cayde or Sundance.”

“Oh. Oh, my dear Nelan...” He floated over to nudge her head with his shell. She didn’t react.

Nelan continued to stare out over the plains for a few minutes more, Ivo hovering in silent vigil beside her, before she kneeled down on the ground. She took off her right glove, the one with a spade sewn onto it, and placed it on the ground before her. She placed her hand on the glove and closed her eyes.

“May you find comfort in the Traveler’s Light, and may it lead you to peace.”

Nelan’s voice wavered, and a tear slipped from her eyes and down her cheek. Ivo gave a sad noise and nuzzled her cheek.

She opened her eyes, wiping her tears away. Cayde was dead and gone- nothing she could do about it now. All she could do now is carry on… and hunt down those responsible.

Isn’t that why she was here in the first place?

Later on, she’s lying restless on her cot, her mind racing. Ivo, taking notice of her distracted state, snuggles close to her.

“We’re going to find him.” The Ghost whispers to her. “We’ll find Uldren, and when we do, he’ll pay for what he has done.”

Ivo is right. There was no escape for Uldren.

She won’t let the former prince get away with this. She won’t.

She’s going to find him.

She’s…

Well, she doesn’t know what she’s going to do when she finds him.

* * *

As her Ghost, Ivo understands what Nelan is trying to do; why she came out here. She had vowed as much after that strange Light/grief educed fever brings out her new ability. She’d come back from Io with renewed strength and together they had taken off for the Tangled Shore after the memorial service for Cayde. She was no longer wallowing in helpless grief, but was dead set on hunting down Uldren.

Ivo would be lying if he said he didn’t want to be part of this. He had_ felt_ Sundance die in the prison, shortly before Nelan found Cayde. The other Ghost had been an acquaintance and someone he looked up to. He’d spoken to Sundance on occasion about his worries and concerns early on into Nelan’s days as a Guardian, and given him helpful advice and assurances that he (and his Guardian) would be fine. She was a wonderful Ghost, and considered her a friend. Ivo had been hurt by her loss as well. He knew who killed Sundance and felt angered by this.

Nelan felt she needed to be here, and of course, Ivo would follow her. He’d be with her until the day they were nothing but stardust and returned to the Light.

And yet…

Ivo watched Nelan carefully as she carried out her (unofficial) investigation into this matter. From gathering leads from Spider (who kinda scared Ivo), to hunting the Barons, to her skirmishes against the Scorn. He notes that she is becoming slightly more aggressive when it came to the Scorn, which to some degree might be good. They were a new type of enemy they had never encountered, so Nelan needed to keep her wits about her. But even as she fought them and gathered information, there was this nagging feeling that lingered in some part of Ivo.

It was more of a concern, but a nagging feeling none the less. And that concern was navigated toward Nelan. He felt like there was a shadow hanging about her, different from when she had been mourning Cayde. He didn’t doubt that sorrow had gone away completely, but there was something. This wasn’t grief necessarily, but more like a smoldering anger. Ivo knew she didn’t get like this often, but he’d seen her like this once before. It had been when Andrix had hacked him and damaged his systems.

Maybe that similarity was what was bothering him. Nelan knew what she was doing, right...? They were both here for justice, right?

After chasing down the Barons to their hideout, only to have them escape, Nelan had retreated back to base camp. Ivo and her discussed how to best take down each Baron and compiled all known information about each one. Meanwhile, Petra was keeping eyes on Uldren and would pass along any information to the Hunter. Nelan was set on going after the Rifleman first, to avenge the Ghost that Baron had killed with one shot. Ivo was all for that, though he cautioned for Nelan to be careful; it was a one-shot kill that had ended Sundance’s life.

She nodded, but didn’t say any more than that. Again, Ivo got the feeling again that there was that shadow about her, as if it was curling around her heart; her Light.

“Talk to me about how you feel.” He wanted to say to her, but did not.

He continues to help Nelan organize data on the Barons instead, giving her gentle encouragements as well. He’d just have to keep an eye on her was all.

It doesn’t help that she picks at her food that night when she makes herself a small meal from their provisions. She doesn’t speak much ether. It’s not like she’s hurt- she’s perfectly fine, physically. Her stress levels do appear elevated, but given the situation, he’s not surprised. However, her lack of speaking worries him.

When Nelan goes to sleep that night, Ivo tucked next to her as always, a thought occurs to him that sent a chill through his core.

She hasn’t smiled once since they came back from the Baron’s hideout.

* * *

Nelan, armed with a bow given to her by Petra, was able to track down the Rifleman around the evening of the following day. Ivo stayed hidden as she chased the Baron across Soriks Cut, to the Jetsam of Saturn, and into Hellrise Canyon. She fought a long con battle with the Baron- sniper versus bow.

“King Uldren wants you dead. I bring him your body- keep your Ghost.” The Rifleman taunted.

Ivo shuddered, but he felt the flare of rage surge though Nelan via their bond. Ivo knew from experience that his Guardian would go to extremes to protect him if he was threatened or hurt, as had been the case with Andrix.

“Sell its shell to Spider! Haha!”

“You will not have my Ghost!” Nelan snarled, firing another arrow at the Rifleman.

“Or I mount your Ghost on my wall… next to Cayde’s!”

“Shut the hell up!” She shouted, just barely dodging a shot from the Rifleman, making Ivo anxious. He could feel the solar energy of her Light burn through her.

“Focus.” Ivo insisted. “He’s trying to distract you. You can beat him, Nelan; I know you can.”

Nelan continued to fight, taking out replicant illusions and keeping herself at a distance. Ivo was glad she had caught onto the Rifleman’s tactics; all she had to do now was not be fooled by the Rifleman’s taunting. If she did, one wrong step could mean the end of them both.

She does not falter, and in the end, she manages to defeat him; unleashing a volley of flaming knives. To her credit, she is getting the hang of her new ability pretty quick. She’s been getting a good amount of practice with it since the ability first awakened within her.

Ivo feels the tension bleed out of Nelan when it’s over, but also feels the exhaustion creeping into her. She’d been running on adrenaline for that entire fight.

“Sundance can rest peacefully now. You, on the other hand, need to rest.” Ivo tells her. “Let’s go back to the _Wardenclyff_.”

Nelan listens, though she is silent on the ride back to the High Plains, and from there to the _Wardenclyff II_. Ivo will admit he feels this fleeting sensation of satisfaction in their vengeance on Sundance’s killer, but that is secondary to his ever growing concern over Nelan.

When they get back to the _Wardenclyff II_, Nelan manages to get her cloak off before she all but collapses onto the bunk. Ivo passes a healing beam over her, fixing whatever may hurt, anything physical anyway.

“Eat something later, alright?” Ivo requests. Nelan grumbles something in reply, but he doesn’t quite catch it. She rolls over on her side, facing away from him.

Ivo sighs, busying himself by reviewing their gathered information about the Barons once more. Going after ether the Rider or the Trickster might be their next move. They had more substantial leads on those two due to recent activity on the Shore. Nelan had just wanted to go after the Rifleman first because of Sundance. While he was at it, Ivo checked for replies to a couple messages Nelan had sent out to a few friends. There was a reply from Tyrell-3; another Hunter who was more than happy to “help kick Uldren’s ass into the next century”, and would head out to the Shore as soon as he was able. Murph had also replied, saying he’d lend his knowledge of Hive to help with the Mindbender.

Ivo logged these replies to show Nelan when she woke up- a scan indicated she’d dozed off for the time being.

Knowing she was just napping, Ivo phased outside of the ship to look over the landscape of the High Plains. He’d heard of the Shore in passing in the years before he found Nelan, but had never ventured here, knowing it lay in the Reef; Awoken territory. This was his first time on the Shore. So far the place reminded him of a sort of “wild west” like in old Earth Golden Age stories. In a way, he was also reminded of a book that Nelan kept in her ship as a keepsake, an old book called The Gunslinger. He remembered the opening line, and couldn’t help but think of Nelan and this hunt they were on.

Uldren had fled to the Shore after killing Cayde, and Nelan, a Gunslinger Hunter, followed.

‘_It’s just like that now, isn’t it?’ _Ivo silently remarked to himself.

He turned away from the landscape and phased back into the ship. He was starting to feel homesick from studying the vista.

The Ghost returned to Nelan’s side, finding she was still asleep, still back to him. In retrospect, it might be good for her to have a few friends come and help her out. Her stress levels have been higher than normal, and she really wore herself out today. Perhaps her friends could help keep her level-headed and from pushing herself to exhaustion again.

Looking at her now, after the events of today and knowing there were more Baron hunts to come, Ivo wished they could be home right now. He understood why they had come out here, and he was not really against Nelan’s motivations to come to the Shore, but he still missed home. He wished they could be home; trying (and failing) to sing her Sinatra music borrowed from Ison and watching Nelan fall back on her bed. He’d watch her laugh and call him silly. He’d nuzzle her cheek while she laughed. He wished for that instead of her lying in a tired heap on the cot and himself hovering uselessly here beside her.

“I wish we would go home.” He wanted to say. He did not.

Instead, Ivo settled himself on a small pillow she kept nearby for him and brought up Tyrell and Murph’s replies to compose a response back. There were new messages from Petra and Spider that had just come in that he should probably review as well (Spider would want to hear about one of the Barons being crossed off the list).

Before he went to compose the first reply, he looked over at Nelan and said to her, “I know you’re like Roland the Gunslinger in this case, but don’t let your chase for your Man In Black consume you… please...”

* * *

The days go on. The hunts continue. Nelan continues leave smoking embers in her wake.

By this time, Ivo has realized that the investigation and subsequent hunts were affecting his Guardian in a way that gave him chills.

Nelan tore her way through more Scorn, and even though her fight with the Rider had been a little bit exciting to watch, she was becoming more vicious. She did not yield, as was evident with the altered Pike she had hijacked.

“You’re on a rampage and I’m not comfortable with it.” He wanted to say. He did not.

“You’re okay. Calm down.” He said instead. “The Rider won’t be a problem anymore.”

Tyrell arrived to help with the Trickster and then the Hangman. Though it was clear he was as hellbent on revenge as Nelan was. Tyrell was a Hunter, so of course he too had been hurt deeply by Cayde’s death. The Nightstalker and the Gunslinger made a formidable pair, and the two Baron’ they hunted stood no chance against them. Still, Tyrell seemed to be not as driven by his anger as Nelan was.

After they had defeated the Hangman, Tyrell had lingered around the Servitors he freed, murmuring something to them. Nelan merely scowled down at the Hangman’s dead body.

“You’ll know I’ll never leave you, right? But sometimes… I don’t like the look in your eyes.” Ivo wanted to say. He did not.

“The Hangman enjoyed this- causing pain.” He said instead. “Let’s get out of here, Nelan. I don’t want to think about what he did to Cayde.”

While Tyrell got himself roped into some errands for Spider, Nelan went off and took on the Mad Bomber on her own. Ivo quickly understood why this Baron was known as he was; the guy was indeed worthy of being called “mad”, aside from his key use of bombs. This Baron taunted Nelan as well when she had finally cornered him, sending Scorn and bombs after her. Ivo could feel her Light seething with every word.

When charged recklessly forward, putting the final bullet in him with her sidearm, Ivo sighed with relief, which was quickly replaced by panic as they fled the collapsing mine. Still, it had frightened him when Nelan ran at the Mad Bomber with only her sidearm. Perhaps it had been a response to how the Mad Bomber provoked her, but Ivo still thought it was reckless.

“I don’t think this is why the Traveler chose you.” He wanted to say. He did not.

“No matter what the bomber said, you’re not a murderer.” Ivo insisted. “Guardians are defenders of the Light. We just have to remember… we’re doing this for Cayde.”

He said this- of course he didn’t believe Nelan was anything that the Mad Bomber claimed her to be- but it felt like Nelan was growing ever distant from him. She didn’t talk as much, and when they were back at base camp more than once he had found her staring off into the distance. It made something inside him ache.

Ivo had always known Nelan as a young Awoken woman that carried a bright spark and a kind heart. Her Light was like a warm fire (maybe because of her solar affinity), and he had always taken comfort in it. She expressed her affection through touch with him, always so gentle. She was determined, adventurous, and a top notch Hunter. Together with her they had faced great enemies, survived having their Light taken, and even survived the dark shadows of Europa. She was a beautiful soul he had fallen hopelessly in love with.

The shadow that he felt around her- wrath- seemed to be a veil over her heart now, snuffing out everything but her anger. It hurt Ivo to see her like this, and made him fear she was being dragged down into darkness.

Back when he was damaged by Andrix’s hack, Ivo had seen Nelan in this kind of downward spiral. He was “sick” at the time, recovering from the hack (thanks to some help by Tyrell), but Nelan had been upset to the point where she had more than once had an outburst of anger. She was dead-set on finding who had hacked Ivo; a quiet storm in her eyes. She had ignored most everyone on the subject, even Cayde. She spent her time fretting over Ivo and making plans to find the culprit. The culprit- Andrix- eventually revealed himself, and to Ivo’s horror, she willingly followed the bait Andrix placed before her and tracked him down.

Ivo will never forget when Andrix strapped that device to Nelan’s head and made her remember a life before this one; her scream in that moment. He’ll never forget the way Nelan’s body trembled when she finally cornered Andrix, staring down at him as he smirked up at her before she pulled the trigger.

Here, in now time- With the way she was acting, Ivo feared the toll of this hunt would change his Guardian for the worse. He didn’t want to lose her to this hate.

He wanted to see her smile again.

When Murph arrived to help her hunt the Mindbender, she seemed a bit better. Murph was a close friend of hers, and a Warlock, so he hoped the Exo could temper this darkness within Nelan.

They took down the Mindbender, but that sill didn’t seem enough for Nelan.

Ivo couldn’t take it any more after that.

* * *

“Six down… yet the strongest three remain.” Spider tells her, sounding pleased with her success thus far. “Of the prince and his pet Fanatic, reports are few.”

“However,” Tyrell interjects. “We have gained some information regarding the whereabouts of the Machinist.”

“Yes. Your talented Nightstalker friend has managed to dig up some information.”

Nelan gives a curt nod to her friend. “What have you found?”

“It would seem that your various hunts have forced the Machinist out of hiding.” Tyrell explains. “You have managed to gain her attention, and I believe that we may have the path to Uldren now. As to what we know, the Machinist is the right hand of the Fanatic. If you find her, then you may force the Fanatic’s hand as well. The Machinist will lead you to the Fanatic, and he in turn will lead you to Uldren.”

“Precisely, tracker of the Void.” Spider agrees. “Moreover, I hear she’s amassing great quantities of corrupted Ether- to grow the Fanatic’s depraved armies. When you pay the Machinist a visit, I urge you to destroy any and all caches of their vile ambrosia.”

“Understood.” Nelan replies. “I’ll head out first thing in the morning.”

The Hunter turns to leave, but Spider calls to her again.

“By the way? Death suits you.”

Nelan pauses in her steps, not saying anything. She does curl her hands into fists for a moment before relaxing them and continuing on her way.

Tyrell follows her on the way out. “You gonna be okay heading out there by yourself? No offense, but you look a little-”

“I’m fine. I can handle this. Like you said, if I find the Machinist, I will find the Fanatic, and then I will find Uldren. It’s almost over, Tyrell.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know...” He pauses, seeming hesitant. “Just make sure to take care of yourself out there, and don’t be afraid to call in for back up. I’ll be hanging around here for a bit longer. Talk to Ivo too; he’s been looking anxious for a couple days now.”

Nelan looks at her Ghost, silent beside her, and then back to Tyrell. “Thank you.”

She drives back to the High Plains, repeating a singular thought in her mind. _‘It’s almost over. It’s almost over. I will find him. I will find you Uldren.’_

Returning to the _Wardenclyff II,_ Nelan runs a hand through her hair. By the Light is she tired, but she’s getting so close to ending this too. She will fight the Machinist, and she will fight the Fanatic too, and then she’ll find Uldren and…

Well, one way or another she will end this soon.

“Nelan, you haven’t eaten for 12 hours now.” Ivo nudges his shell against her shoulder. “I know I can just rez you, but I’d rather not see you starve.”

“I’m fine. I’ll just grab one of those protein bars. I need to make sure I have the necessary supplies for tomorrow.”

“Fine, but- just please remember to sleep. And drink some water. We’ll be taking on the most powerful of the Barons before we get to Uldren, so you’ll need your strength.”

“I’m aware.”

She takes stock of her ammo, picking out her weapons for tomorrow and taking a look at each one to make sure everything is in working order. She does snack on something, as per Ivo’s request, but she has to make sure everything is ready. She has to succeed in this mission. She cannot falter here, not when she’s so close. Removing the Barons from the Shore will be an added bonus; thing will be better off here without them running around.

But she has to remember Uldren is her main target.

Nelan thought back to when she last saw Uldren, smirking as the door closed, as she uselessly summoned her Golden Gun too late. Those eyes stared back at her mockingly.

> _ “He didn’t feel a thing.”_

Gritting her teeth at the memory, Nelan punches a wall without thinking. The steel sends a shockwave of pain through her hand and she instantly pulls it back, holding her hand against her chest and letting out a hiss.

“Nelan, what happened?!” Ivo exclaims, sounding startled. “Goodness, your hand! Let me see-”

“N-No!” She jumps a half step back from him. “I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

Her Ghost stares at her, and then something in his voice changes. “Please, just- Nelan, let me help you. Let me heal you, and for Traveler’s sake, take things slow. We’ll beat the Machinist, I’m sure of it. You can’t be as reckless as you have during these last few hunts.”

“Reckless? I’m not being reckless. I’m hunting down the Barons so we can isolate Uldren. I’m doing what we’re supposed to.”

“I saw you when we fought the Mad Bomber- you went at him with nothing but your sidearm! I’d call that reckless.”

“But I got the job done.”

“You could have been hurt by that maneuver, or died!” Ivo continued to retaliate.

“But it’s done. And now there’s only two left. Then Uldren.”

Nelan averted her eyes before turning away from him, pretending to busy herself with something else on her ship. Ivo, however, didn’t let up just yet.

“I can’t do this- Nelan, talk to me! Ever since we got here, something has been up with you. You’re not acting like yourself and I’m worried. Even Tyrell’s noticed you’ve been out of sorts. I’m worried you’re going to keep being reckless and that sooner or later you’re going to get yourself into something you can’t get out of.”

“If you’re trying to tell me to relax, I can’t. We need to get rid of the Barons so it’ll be easier to get to Uldren. I can’t rest until this is done.”

“Forget about Uldren for one second! Calm down and talk to me-”

“I know what I’m doing, okay?!” She spun around to face him as she said this, and in that moment-

She saw Ivo shudder; flinch as if she had tried to swat him out of the air. His eye blinked rapidly at her, as if stunned. Nelan felt a flash of something roll through her, and as she stared back at Ivo, she realized what it was and went still.

Though their bond, their neural symbiosis, was strong, Nelan had never once been able to feel anything from Ivo. Ivo could feel her pain, echoes of her emotions, anything from her (except for reading thoughts). Never once had she been able to feel anything like that from Ivo.

Except… what she had just felt…

“I… I...” She sucked in a breath. “I-I need some air...”

Nelan quickly walked out of the ship, regretfully leaving Ivo behind.

‘_What have I done?’_

* * *

Ivo stared after the place where Nelan had just been standing. Her Light had flared so badly when she had snapped at him that it felt more like fire than Light. It had been a while since he’d seen her have an outburst like that; not since Andrix.

And honestly, that scared him, because unlike when she had these outbursts during the Andrix incident, this time it was directed at him.

He’d never had reason to be afraid of her, but he had been in that moment; panic surging through him.

It hurt.

Being out here- these hunts, her fixation on finding Uldren- had most certainly impacted his Guardian in an adverse way. She’d turned darker in spirit, unlike herself. He didn’t like it.

And then, just before she fled the ship, there was a strange look on her face. Her anger faded and she had suddenly looked stunned. That’s when she left. Ivo hadn’t followed, letting her have her space.

Still, he felt this empty feeling inside him; helplessness. He didn’t know what to do for his Guardian or how he could even help. He wasn’t sure what to do.

He didn’t want to see her so shrouded in her own hate. He wanted to see her smile again. He wanted Nelan to be back to her old self.

‘_What do I do?’_ The Ghost asked himself.

He made a sound that would have sounded like a sniffle, and floated down towards the little pillow kept on the cot for him.

Ivo needed to think, and maybe, judging by the expression on her face before she left, maybe Nelan needed that too.

She was still there; he saw it.

If he had a heart, it would certainly be hurting, thinking about how she snapped at him. They had never fought before, not like this. Disagreements- yes they had those before on occasion, but nothing like this. Ivo just hoped this wasn’t a sign of Nelan taking a turn for the worse. Best case, he figured, was that this was simply a breakdown from stress and over-fixation on her goal.

Ivo prayed it was just that. He knew Cayde’s death had been extremely hard for her. Nelan had been there when Cayde died; watched him die. She’d let herself be overcome with grief, which had brought on that fever. She had been silent during the memorial and took off for the Shore without telling anyone. It was easy to theorize that it was stress, and lingering grief, that had caused her to lash out.

He thought of her when her “fever” had ceased, a tired smile gracing her lips-

> _“I’m sorry I made you worry. I’m glad you’re here.”_

And he thought of when her eyes looked colder than ice-

> _“I know what I’m _ _doing,_ _ okay?!”_

And he thought of how she looked stunned before leaving the ship-

> _“I-I need some air...”_

Ivo sighed, closing his eye.

‘_Don’t go far, please.’ _He thought.

* * *

There was a ledge near where she had landed the _Wardenclyff II _when she had set up base camp. It was the same ledge where, on the first night, she had taken of her glove with the spade on it and said her prayer for fallen Guardians and Ghosts. She had sat on the same ledge a couple times since then and stared out into the distance.

She sits at the same ledge now, away from her ship; the High Plains stretching out into nowhere before her.

‘_What have I done?’_ Nelan asked herself again.

She had snapped at Ivo, and she had scared him by doing so. What she had felt in that moment- it was a surge of panic that was not hers. That was Ivo. It was the first time she had ever felt something via their bond, and she hated that it was panic; panic that Ivo had felt because of her.

Nelan wanted to cry; she was so stupid. She had hurt her Ghost and not recognized it until she felt his panic.

They’d never fought before either, not like that. She’d been trying to get him to stop fretting when she was just fine and that there was still work to be done. They were entering the end stages of their mission. She knew what she had to do.

But he had his reasons, and Nelan realized she had outright ignored Ivo. She’d been so focused on hunting down the Barons and finding Uldren that she had ignored the one being who was more important to her than anything else.

That’s what lead to the fight; letting her anger cloud everything else.

Tears slipped free from her eyes and she bowed her head. “Fuck...”

What the hell was she even doing out here?

When she had set out for the Tangled Shore, her intentions were clear. She struck that deal with Spider to help further that goal. And then she started hunting the Barons…

> _“_ _No matter what the bomber said, you’re not a murderer. Guardians are defenders of the Light. We just have to remember… we’re doing this for Cayde.”_

Nelan could reason that- all of this she had been doing in order to avenge Cayde, and that was her original purpose for coming here. However, realizing she had been just letting her anger get the better of her, she didn’t feel like much of a Guardian right now.

So was she really here seeking justice for her fallen mentor, or just to leave destruction as anger controlled her?

> _ “Talk to me, Nelan!”_

And Ivo- Oh, Ivo, her love; her Little Light. He’d been trying to soothe her rage, all along trying to help her, and she’d pushed him away.

The hand she had punched the wall with still hurt, and, honestly, she felt like she deserved that.

A sob broke from her lips and she screwed her eyes shut as she cried.

Nelan wasn’t sure how long she sat at the ledge crying, with all these thoughts swirling inside her head. Eventually, her cries turned into sniffles. She now sat at the ledge with her knees drawn to her chest, once again staring out into nowhere. She hadn’t felt anything else from her Ghost- she wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to speak to her. She’d been horrible to him over the past few days.

The sky looked darker above her. Was it night now, she wondered.

“Hey...”

Nelan startled at the voice, though she knew exactly who it was. Giving another sniffle, and brushing tears from her eyes, she turned around to find Ivo hovering near the ship.

“Thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me...” Nelan managed.

“I figured I should let you have some space.” He said, quietly. “Did you think I had left?” When she didn’t respond, he ventured closer to her. “I’m here. I’m still here. Are… Are you still here?”

She still said nothing, but this time held out her injured hand. Ivo flew forward and scanned her hand with a healing beam. She flexed her hand when he was done; feeling no pain. Nelan looked from her hand to Ivo; she kept her hand outstretched for him.

Ivo kept his gaze on her hand, hesitant, and then settled down into her palm.

There was a slight resonance there and new tears came to her eyes.

“I’ve been a terrible Guardian lately.” Nelan muttered, her voice cracking. “I’ve been a terrible partner. I shouldn’t have pushed you away; you were just trying to help me. I can say all the apologies I want, but that doesn’t excuse what i’ve done. I’ve treated you so horribly!”

“...You are still here then. It’s a start.” Ivo looked up at her. “Nelan, I just want to talk. Talk to me about how you feel. I’m your Ghost; I’m supposed to help you.”

Nelan nodded. For however long she had been sitting out here, she had been thinking. She’d thought about the days gone by and the realization she had stupidly focused one solely tracking down the Barons so she could find Uldren. She felt guilty she had made Ivo likely worry and that she had ultimately hurt him. She’d let the remaining anger over Cayde’s death burn through her and be the driving force in her mission.

What was done was done, and while she might not be able to reverse what she had caused, she could try and fix it. She’d make it right for Ivo; her Ghost and the one she loved with all her heart and soul.

“I feel angry.” She began. “I feel anger toward the Barons; toward Uldren of course. I feel as though I need to do this; everything we’ve done so far. Uldren must pay for what he’s done, and the Baron’s are just as guilty. They aided Uldren in his plot, not to mention the one who killed Sundance.”

“I can’t disagree with you there, and I must admit, the Shore will be safer without the Barons around.” Ivo replied.

“But I made a mistake. I let that be the one thing I care about- not getting justice, but getting revenge. I let myself become my rage. You probably thought my heart, my Light, was clouded with Darkness. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was. I know I’ve been reckless; stupid and rushing forward without thinking. I had blocked out everything around me, even you. You; Ivo, my love. There was you. You tried to help and I refused to let you in. I hurt you...”

“While you didn’t strike me or anything, I won’t lie. The way you snapped at me did hurt. It made me panic.”

Nelan nodded. “I know, and I felt it. I think that’s what snapped me out of it; opened my eyes. I’m sorry about how I acted towards you; I should never have done that. I know that this can’t automatically fix things, but I can at least start there.”

“...I forgive you.”

The Hunter looked down at him, confused. “Ivo-”

“I have been concerned about your well-being over the course of our mission, and to have you just ignore me and keep pushing yourself to your limits, with such aggression in your eyes, in your Light, hurt. I didn’t know what I could do for you, how to help you. And then, back in the ship, when you turned on me like that- it was like a stab to my very core.”

She could hear his voice wavering towards a sadder tone and, by the void, guilt flooded through her, knowing she had made him feel that way.

“Nelan.” Ivo’s voice cut in again. “Hey, look at me. After you ran out, I talked with Tyrell and Bastian for a bit over coms. Tyrell’s been in a similar state. Anyway, our talk allowed me to further analyze things, which is why I came out here to talk to you, granted you were ready, of course. Your words did hurt, but you have also recognized you’ve made a mistake, and that’s important. If you didn’t feel any remorse, then you would have tried to brush this off and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You’re willing to talk, and that’s a good sign. That’s why I can forgive you. Can you… Can you just do me a favor though?”

“Y-yeah.” Nelan stuttered. “What is it?”

Ivo was quiet for a moment before he spoke. “I understand why we’re here. We’re here to bring Cayde’s killers to justice. I understand your motives; my very Light ached when I realized you would have to watch him die his final death. I know it was painful for you especially because you thought of him as a father. You have a strong determination; I saw it when Andrix hacked me. If anyone is going to get this done, it’s you. However, I don’t want you to be consumed by your anger. I don’t want you to be so reckless and risk endangering yourself all for the sake of this mission; for vengeance. I don’t want to lose you because of that.”

And when he spoke next, he sounded like he was crying.

“I almost lost you on Europa. Please- I don’t want to lose you to this.”

Oh Light. Dammit.

She’d really messed up.

Nelan brought Ivo near, caressing the top points of his shell and then placing a shaky kiss upon it. Those tears she felt before slipped free from her eyes. “You won’t. You won’t, Ivo. Traveler, I’ve messed up so bad, but I can tell you that much.”

She felt his shell twitch in her hands. “Promise me…?”

“...I promise. I’m so sorry, for everything.”

Ivo started to rise from her hands, and Nelan drew back to give her Ghost some space.

“Like I said, you’re forgiven.” His voice was stabilizing. “We can’t undo it, but I can forgive you; for the reason I’ve stated and- well, for two other reasons. First, because you’re my Guardian. Secondly and most importantly; because I love you.”

“I love you too...”

He met her eyes, and then flew up and bumped his shell against her forehead, like it was a kiss. There he stay, and she let him linger.

And they both stated like that for a little bit.

Eventually, Ivo spoke again. “Should we go back inside the _Wardenclyff_? It is night now and the temperature has dropped. And then… there’s still tomorrow.”

Nelan nodded, rising from the ground and returning to her ship with Ivo at her side. She had another snack real quick and then crawled into bed. She lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling of her ship, she remembered that there was still things that needed to be done.

While she had had her breakdown of sorts, there were still two Barons out there. Uldren was still out there too.

And tomorrow she would face the Machinist.

But she wasn’t alone.

“We have to fight her tomorrow.” Nelan said aloud, knowing Ivo would hear. “The Machinist.”

“Yes, I remember. But we’ll face her together. We’re going to get this done.”

Nelan held a hand up for him. “Together.”

Ivo leaned his shell against the open palm of her hand. “Together.”

Together, as it should be.

Nelan didn’t want it any other way.


End file.
